I am almost 42. I have one adult child, and one child on his way toward adulthood. I’m single, have never been married, and live in an apartment in a state that makes it hard to breath a few months a year. And I am mostly ok with all of this. I’m down for a change in location, but that has to wait until my lease is up.
When I was 14 I couldn’t even imagine what my life would look like right now, because back then I thought 40 was soooo old. Now that I am here, and the majority of my friends are here as well, old is not the right word. Some days I am more tired than others, but my love for wild hair, high heels, and sexy bikers hasn’t changed or faltered. What has changed? My sex life! Dammit. Being single had so many perks in my dirty 30s, sex whenever and with whomever was one of them. The closer I got to my 40s however I noticed something happening. I’m pickier now, which is saying something because I was rather picky to begin with.
What was the biggest trigger? Drama. Why does there have to be so much drama attached to dating? Everyone and their dog has something to say whenever the dating starts, and most of it is negative or said with trouble making in mind. Why do people do that? Why on earth do other people find it necessary to interject on someone else’s love life? I could write a book just on the underhanded things that others, both male and female, have pulled in the name of “cockblocking” and still I would be no closer to discovering the why part of it all.
So now I take a step back, and hesitate. Do I want the drama in my life? Is this guy worth all that? Are his friends shady? How many exes are going to come out of the woodwork? Allow me to share this one story. A few years ago I reconnected with a guy from my past. He seemed so excited to be talking to me again, we texted, talked on the phone, made plans. He even flew across the country to spend Valentine’s weekend with me. Then, as soon as the weekend was over, I started getting emails from his exes. Long, drawn out emails, full of threats and pettiness. First one woman, who exposed all the crappy things he has done. Then another, who claimed to be still sleeping with him. By the third woman, I was done. Actually, I was done after the first one, but for some stupid reason I cannot recall I allowed it to carry on. How the hell did they get my email anyway? Oh. He gave it to them. He perpetuated the drama! WTF??? Who does things like that? A person who thrives on drama and loves women fighting over him, that’s who. Sorry bub, not worth my valuable time. This may be why I’m single, but my dignity and self-respect are worth so much more than a mediocre lay. Yeah, I said that.